Author Self-Care: taking the time for ourselves

Self-care. We all need it. We hear it all the time. We ALL need to take some time to recharge our batteries. For myself, summer is especially difficult to take some R&R. I am fried. Even though I bask in the sunshiny weather (a welcome break from our loooong winters), I still have a packed schedule while the kids are out of school. There are activities, vacations, travel, appointments/errands/house erupting in Lego bricks and paper, camps/sports, teaching and volunteer work...

...oh, and yes, less time to write. When you work at home, there is quite a bit of juggling in summer! Did I happen to mention that I just signed TWO new book contracts and I'm working on edits, and my audio book to A Hundred Kisses just released? 

Yes, one of my gardens...again. If you read my blog regularly you'll see I am a wee bit obsessed with my flower gardens. I have many. And I purchased this sign at an apple festival/craft event last year. :)

That plate is full! And I need to take some me time. I bounced the question off fellow The Wild Rose Press Authors. What do they do for self-care? Here's what they had to say:

My number one way to TRY to stay healthy is to stay hydrated and to get off my butt regularly. One inevitably leads to the other since drinking a glass of water every hour pretty much guarantees a trip to the bathroom in the next hour. Just that short walk down the hall loosens my limbs. -- Luanna Stewart

Mary Morgan's helpful bullet-point list:

• Shut down all electronic devices (phone, laptops) by 7 p.m. It's too tempting to check social media and/or emails. Making this a firm rule has helped me tremendously. 
• Exercise 5-6 days per week: Walking, Biking, or Yoga. It helps to stir the imagination, clear the cobwebs, and keep me limber. 
• Make a 1-2 day retreat day each month to escape the work environment. When you work from home, there is no closing the door on your career. Mine surrounds me and I need a fresh perspective.
• Working in my garden. Tending to my plants, herbs, and vegetables eases the tensions and helps to center me.
• Sunday is a day of rest after one hour of line-edits from my current WIP. And I'm firm with the one hour. After I'm done, I'm lazy for the rest of the day.
• Meditate every morning. It doesn't matter if it's five or twenty minutes, I honor each morning with a positive approach.

I heartily agree with all of those. Gardens are my zen place.

From Jennifer Wilck: Being an author is lonely and isolating. Make sure you have people to talk to and see, both writer and non-writer! Don’t sit all day. Go for a walk, switch rooms, take breaks. It’s good for your mind and your body. No one is perfect and everyone has to revise. Don’t judge yourself on your writing. Put the words down, pat yourself on the back for writing them in the first place, and THEN go back and edit. Set yourself small goals—like word count per day for example—instead of huge ones. That way you have an easier time of attaining your goal and the task isn’t as daunting.

Kerry Blaisdell says, "Like others, I take a physical break. But in my case, I also make sure it's a "tactile" one. Writing is so cerebral, and I'm a tactile person. So in the summer, I get out in my garden -- anything hands on. It's incredibly restorative, and nurturing for the plants as well as for me. I also cook what I've picked, which is another way to be creative while taking a brain break, moving around, and using all my senses. In winter, I also cook or bake, or even do "mindless" chores, like laundry. It's surprisingly satisfying for me, to handle all those clean clothes, organize them, and put them away. It can give me a sense of accomplishment, when I'm stuck on something in my story (or even at work, or in my personal life)."

Kathryn Knight teaches fitness classes: Step aerobics, Zumba, weight lifting, Pilates, and she finds it serves so many purposes: gets her away from the computer, keeps her active, and keeps her mind 100% off anything but instructing the class for an hour, which usually helps dislodge writer's block. She also gardens and listens to audio books. 

Claire Marti also teaches yoga and meditation classes. She states (and I concur!) that they are two invaluable tools to staying sane and healthy! She even has a FREE Yoga Break for Writer's Block class on YogaDownload.com that's only 13 minutes long and doesn't require a mat or stretchy pants or any experience. She also has a free meditation on the YogaDownload.com called Manifesting Seeds for Spring, but it's a great visualization for creativity any time of year.

I agree. We all need a break from the computer. I run. Just finished 12.5 miles. I have run with friends every Saturday morning for the last 30 years. And when I run alone, I dream up stories. It's whatever works for you. The yoga really sounds inviting! -- Cyndie Zahner

Mary Gillgannon recently went to a workshop on dealing with life stress and creative burnout at the PAN retreat of the RWA. She said it was a fascinating experience.

When I am up to my neck and feeling like I'm about to go under, I grab a water bottle, lace up my shoes and head to the mountains. Alone. My favorite summer spot is a ski resort with a lift that ferries me to the top and it's a beautiful, scenic, soul-soothing hike down. By the time I've descended, I'm ready to reengage with the world and my writing. -- Julie Howard

I see a trend here with getting OUTSIDE...sometimes it's a simple as getting outside with the dog:

C. Becker: I walk my dog; the time away lets me clear my head and refocus.

When looking at my computer screen makes me want to scream, I lace up my shoes and take 'Bitsy' my dog for a walk. There is a nature trail near here and being out in the 'green' really helps. Sometimes, depending on how hot it is, I turn on the TV and watch British TV shows... -- Kathy Scarborough

What about being social when we are home (many of us, alone with our computers and our thoughts)?

As an introvert, I have fairly modest needs in that area. Being around groups of people can be exhausting, in fact, even if I'm enjoying it. 
One thing I did like about working in an office was daily chatting with co-workers. Now that I'm retired, though, I'm quite content being at home...church on Sundays, casual chats with clerks at the supermarket and when I take the dog for her multiple short walks every day, I often have the chance to casually greet other people and dogs out walking. So I have the sense of being surrounded by people without the draining experience of having to interact in-depth more than an introvert enjoys. Also, several times per year, we go downtown to listen to our favorite Irish singer, who performs in the upstairs lounge of a local restaurant almost every month. That's a pleasant evening among a small group of like-minded people. In addition, I go to at least two conventions every year. -- Margaret Carter

Here's what Margaret Ann Spence does to keep herself sane on the writing journey: 

* Buy flowers or pick them from the garden so I have something good to smell and look at while writing. A little luxury but it could be as simple as a vase of blossoms from your tree in spring or a glass of basil in summer.  
* Get up and stretch every hour. 
* Make a date for exercise. Take a walk with a friend or go to a class. Writing is one of the most sedentary jobs and your body will not thank you for your choice of career unless you take care of it over time. 
* Limit time on social media. Schedule it like everything else. 
* Find a supportive writers' group. 
 

Well, there you have it! Advice from a plethora of other Wild Rose Press authors on how to care for yourself while in the throes of writing. I see many trends in those responses.

I'd love to hear from you. What do you do for self-care?

Happy writing...and happy R&R,

Jean

--And by the way, my flower gardens are PEAK this month (ahhhhhh!)--

Staring at Page 186…

Here I am, staring at page 186 in my latest manuscript…for the past month. I was moving along at a fast pace, churning out 2000-5000 words a day on this first draft of my latest novel. I had goals! Let’s see: To be done with draft v001 by the end of October. Send it off to my first betas. Get feedback. Revise in November (even though my manuscripts have always taken me months and months to revise and polish…but I had a new method of crafting charts/characters/plots to streamline the revision process). Submit to my editor by December/January.

I had a plan. Then life hit.

Many artists and creatives struggle with daily mental illness such as depression or anxiety. I’m nearly forty years old and have suffered with both most of my life. I’m still conquering my demons, healing new and old wounds, and working on my inner self-talk. Recently life got “lifey” and my plan—yeah, it crashed and burned. I went from high output to a dead stop. Granted, perhaps I saw this coming as I’ve been going through several life/career transitions and I’ve been grooving in survival mode for a few years. I usually keep myself very busy…so busy that the depression and anxiety can remain hidden, its claws safely shackled behind closed doors. However, that only works for a while. Then it (“life”) all came at once—I jumped into the deep end without the required gulp of air needed when you drop down 12 feet to the bottom of the pool.

Digging into the heart of the issue is tough and can seem impossible. Recently a friend shared the Hilarious World of Depression podcasts with me (and she had no idea what I was currently going through). At first I saw it and thought, “How can depression be funny?” Obviously the podcasts are not angled that way. In fact, I listened to a few and found myself nodding in agreement.

So why am I writing this post? First, to boost my monthly word count. Joking aside, well, I wrote it to show that like many others out there, you are not alone in your struggles. Mental illness is not a light matter.

Please know that there are resources out there for you. Text 741741 or call the Suicide Prevention number 1-800-273-8255 to speak to someone if you are on the ledge. Call a friend, family member, or spiritual mentor.

Seek out friends, professionals, and medicine if needed. Telling a person who’s depressed to just suck it up, get out of the house, exercise, just hop on the horse again, or keep busy…great advice, but we all know that it’s not that simple.

It sounds counter-intuitive but one way for me to help myself is to reach out to others who are in the same boat and help them. (Hence this post). For example, I’ve learned through my own journeys, such as parenting a special needs child, that when I need help, the best thing is to first get help where needed (friends, professionals, etc.) and not keep the pain bottled up, and second, to reach out to others who may also be in need. Just a year ago, I was seeking friends who were walking the same parenting journey, so I created a local Facebook group for just that…and we have over 350 people in the group, from parents to educators, all sharing and supporting.

So recently, as I deal with anxiety, turbulent waters, and transitions, I’ve reached out to friends who I know I can count on…and I’m reaching out to you in the hopes that my words will provide comfort and support if you are struggling as well. You are not alone. You are worthy. You are important. You can get through this.

After a few weeks at the dark bottom of the deep end, I can see the light at the surface. It may be a long swim up, but I soon hope to be no longer staring at page 186…

Bring on page 187 and beyond and hopefully I will burst through the surface of that water and take another gulp of fresh air.

May 1, 2018 - My Update!

Update! I broke through in November. Managed to finish by Christmas. Sent to betas. They loved. Edited. Sent to my editor by April, 2018. Now waiting on her thoughts...Feeling better. Put weight back on (too much). Working through all my muddy gunk and on the healing road.

Summer 2018 -

The book is in the final galley process of publication. Release in early 2019!

Always with love,

Jean

Two songs that help me get up each day and empower me with the ability to change impossible to possible:

Gym Class Heroes “The Fighter”

Andra Day’s “Rise Up”